Bridgette Fincher- Masters in Educational Technology and Leadership. 2006

 

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Action Research Project

 

Let's Not Forget the Role of Passion...a Hedonist’s Take

 

Sometimes it is the small subtle things that draws souls back from the fray

leaving the tattered windmills to slowly turn minus their personal Don Quixotes.

Now is the time to gather in, regroup, take stock of what is important and what is not

realizing there will always be windmills, maybe altered in visage, but windmills still.

Constants that bring little satisfaction, yet, with each passing blade more than abundant distress

that can be soothed only by the application of the reaffirming balm which compassion brings.

Shown in the mutual empathy between loyal friends in problematic times, in a favor when it is needed most,

garnered from pats on the back, figurative or literal, it matters not which- both are just as sweet.

It is felt in the soft smell and touch of a loved one when words will not suffice, in the warmth of a tiny hand,

It is all these things, and more, that provide humans with what they need to keep fighting the fight.

It is what makes life worthwhile, so, before you go back to the monsters creaking up there on the hill

take stock of all your sweet things, those exquisitely subtle things, that compassion has wrought.

 

I wrote this little ditty a few years back when I spent time exploring poetry as a means of thinking rather using the narrative from. Something will strike my fancy and like a rotund terrier, I dig deep until the essence of what interests me gets flung out, sniffed and gnawed on. No end goal. No destination. No designated reason but my life becomes brighter in the gnawing. Which tags me as a focused dilettante, I guess. Years singing lead vocals in a dinky band, forming dried flower montages, acting, stumbling through juggling, sampling the subtleness of a masala or curry mix and holding my breath for what seems forever at the bottom of the pool. Some are long term, some or short. When they end, they end.

Sure, I am good with the planning which goes into day-to-day functioning. Deadlines, expectations, being pragmatic about things….taking the loooooooong view. It is part of life but not all. Viva internal revolution! The “Huh, now wouldn’t THAT be cool to check out?” tingle that comes before the make the leap into something different and unknown. I sure the heck don’t know where I am going to land, and what will come of it, but how will I know if I don’t try it out? A little bit of danger and a little bit of risk adds life and spark.

These things are not planned nor are they premeditated. They just are. They bubble up from something within and feel right for the time and place. As Maria Montessori proposed, it is a “sensitive period” for learning this…this something new. Authenticity, process and deep engagement mark the time. There is a sense of flow. It’s like falling in love over and over and over.

I think that is the problem that I have with assigned mentorships. They feel oxymoronic. One doesn’t fall in love with, or in, an assignment…one falls in-like or in-respect but not in-love. For me, the rush and pure delight don’t inhabit assigned mentorships. Maybe, perhaps, if there is a synchronicity that happens outside the dictates of the assignment? Speaking for myself, I have yet to have that happen, but, like an arranged marriage of old, maybe one could grow into assigned love? I think more what we have going here is not mentorship of a deep and lasting kind but more of a lovely facilitation process. Perhaps that is what we have been doing. Perhaps that is more of an authentic term to mesh with what our assignments have been.

I know exactly what I want to do next…I want to learn how to dance the tango with someone who is patient and a really, really strong lead because otherwise I do…and, unfortunately..there have been only three in my life who have been and it has been a long time between and I love to dance. I want to spend time with my husband…twenty seven years and but still there are aspects of him I have yet to know. He fascinates me. Our discovery of being two again was cut short this year of my return just as we were saying “OH! There you are, bebe! THIS was what it was like back when! Whooohooo!” as our time of active kid rearing stopped when our youngest went off to school.  I want to make continue the transitions I am making with my parents to a better and firmer ground…trust and caring on a completely different and unexplored flipped dimension. I want to continue to build the foundations of love and caring I have with my children, now adults, who I respect and honor so much. They are amazing individuals. I want to have facials and full body massages again. I want to sit on the edge of the beach and pick out the conical shells that look like long, brown tapered hats. I want to continue the friendships and explorations of the relationships I am establishing here in OMET…they are delicious in so many ways. I want to taste air that is different and hear the rhythms of a new land. Being a sensual omnivore is GOOD. None of this is assigned or dictated or blocked out. They are driven by need, passion and intellectual curiosity. Will people come to travel my road with me? I am most assured they will. If I leave my heart, and my mind, open and listening…life will bring mentors my way. For, I have faith in the process.

   

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